The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari
by Queen Tangerine
Summary: Ever wonder what the stoic, rude, and often obnoxious beyblader really thinks? Wonder no more! Bow down and be amazed at his intensity. No, really. Extreme OOC. DISCONTINUED.
1. Cool Hats: Season One

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari

Wee. Okay, so I know that I have a bunch of stories to update, but I wanted to do this for a while, be happy. I'll be making a Harry Potter addition to it as well. I just wanted to write this down. It's got OOCness galore, so be happy.

Now, disclaimer time!

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**_Disclaimer: Must you always do this to me? I don't own Beyblade, I don't own Kai, I don't own his hair, I don't own anything! Okay? Okay!_**

**_These will be short and sweet, and updated quickly. Only 27 chappies of it though._**

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**_When he first lost to Tyson._**

**_Reaction: Hn. -Shocked look- (Hey, what do you want from him, it's Kai.)_**

_Thought: What the hell?! I lost to a fucking fat cow! I'm not even sure he is a person?! How in the hell did I lose? Stupid gloating bastard... although, he is kinda cute... still! That fat cow beat me! Me? The sexiest character on this show? I have WAY more fangirls then that bastard will ever have! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! And why does Tyson get a cool hat? Why couldn't I get a cool hat? I want a cool hat, all I get is this stupid scarf! And Hn? That's not even a word! _

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**_When he found out he had to be on the Bladebreakers team._**

**_Reaction: There's no way in hell. Absolutely not._**

_Thought: WHAT THE FUCK?! Why do I have to be such an asshole all the time?! Ooh, look at Ray's ass, it's great... wait... a mintue, can't get distracted here. I want to be on the team though, why the fuck do I have to be so dramatic about it, do these pants make my ass look big?_

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_Okay that's it. The first nine chappies will be dedicated to events that happened in the first season, second nine will be about the second season and so on. Alright? Now go review! Kai sure does have a tiny attention span though, hm? And he's a whore. Hehe._


	2. The White Tigers

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Two

Queen: Skip the talk, on with the fic.

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**_Disclaimer: Still don't own it. Although, I am planning on selling my soul for it!_**

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**_When he first met the White Tigers._**

**_Reaction: -Does nothing-_**

_Thoughts: Who the fuck cares who the bloody Asian champs are anyway, they'll never be as good as me, whoa holy shit. One has green hair! I want green hair! Then I can secretly become Dren from Mew Mew Power! All I need now is the pointy ears and and the weird belly and I'm all set, bitches! Who the hell does that pink haired skank think she is flirting with MY Ray. I'll knock that bitch out in later episodes. How the hell does Ray get his hair in that white thingy anyhow? I want it! Great, Tyson's talking. When will he ever shut up? God, I look better then all these scumsuckers put together. -Looks in Mirror- Oh yeah... Real sexy! I might just strike a pose! TYSON SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR HUNGER YOU STUPID RUG MUNCHER! GO EAT SOME RAT POSION IF YOU ARE SO BLOODY HUNGRY!_

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**_When Ray lost his bit-beast._**

**_Reaction: You have failed. _**

_Thought: What a dumbass. He lost to a midget! That's almost as bad as losing to Ian, how is the little purple haired fucker anyhow? Oh yeah, I'm not supposed to have any memories of the Abbey. Well, guess what? THE WRITERS DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT MY THOUGHTS! Cuz, I remember everything! Still, he lost to a midget! Haha. -Would laugh hysterically but has to be 'badass'- Great, Tyson's whining about food again. WHY CAN'T I KILL HIM?! And when are me and Max going to get a scene together! I wanna cut off his hair. It's so bright and blonde and annoying, but no, I have to be 'cold, silent asshole,' damnit! Life sucks. These pants really do make my ass look big! I'll have to toss them out now._

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What an attention whore. Anyway, go review! I always knew he was a MMP fan!


	3. Black Dranzer

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chappie 3

Queen: Alright, let's do this.

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**_Disclaimer, disclaimer! I don't own HASBRO either._**

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**_First Time He Uses Black Dranzer_**

**_Reaction: HAHA! -Is all Evil and Shit-_**

_Thoughts: I just broke a nail! Wah! I GOT TO BEAT THAT PINK HAIRED BITCH! MUAHAHAHA! I AM EVIL! EVIL! EVIL! Holy shit... my ass REALLY IS BIG IN THESE PANTS! DAMNIT! I HAVE THE POWER! -Does He-Man pose... Why is everyone staring at me? Oh shit! LET ME BE EMO IN PEACE!_

_People are just so rude these days._

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**_First Time He Loses with Black Dranzer._**

**_Reaction: -Speechless-_**

_Thoughts: Oh yeah, this is invincible! STUPID RAPIST! BORIS DOESN'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT BLADEZ! Wait, does that have a 'Z' or an 'S' oh well. God, this blade sucks, gosh! -Throws away- Why do they want to take over the world with these cones of plastic? How in the hell does my grandfather expect to rule the world using HASBRO toys? THEY ARE FROM A TOY STORE YOU STUPID OLD MAN! Jesus Christ. And to think, I almost killed myself over a bunch of plastic CONES! Cones! Not even a cool shape to them!_

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_What a shallow bastard hm? Well, he does have a point._


	4. Tyson and Tala: Verbal Wars

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chappie 4

**_Disclaimer: Still don't own a damn thing!_**

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**_First Verbal face-off with Tala. _**

**_Reaction: -Usual Cool Pose- -Throws out some insults-  
_**

_Thoughts: How in the hell can he get his hair to do that devil horn thing? And why does he have to be prettier then me? Urg! HIS HAIR IS BETTER THEN MINE! He looks like a ghost though so... yay for me! -Dances- STOP STARING AT ME! YES I DANCE YOU RED HEADED GAY PERSON! HOSHIT! He's gonna launch his cone of plastic at me! Don't stratch my face you son of a bitch!_ _Ack! Can't_ _breathe!_

_Tell my fangirls, I love them._

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**_First time Tyson insults him._**

**_Reaction: -Insert smartass comment here._**

_Thoughts: Oh yeah, well you suck so there! You have man boobs Tyson, yeah that's right MAN BOOBS! And your hair sucks. -Steals hat- Muahaha! The sexy hat shall be mine forever! Ack! It smells like sweat! Tyson, you're a dirty pig_!_ Dirty pig, don't you dare hit on MY Ray! We've been going out for weeks now, bitch! -Goes demonic on Tyson- I wanna kill him, I wanna kill him... mmm. Bacon, I want some bacon... wtf? Why am i thinking of the awesomeness of bacon right now? Tyson just insulted me! -Bitchslaps- _

_Take that, man whore!_

**(A/N: All of the actions are** **things he wish he could do.)**

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Queen: Thanks to all that reviewed! -Hugs-


	5. Switching Teams and Hotel Rooms

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Five

Queen: Skip my bitching, read the fic. Thanks to Lamanth for reviewing all the chappies! -Hugs- And thanks to yinyangmatrix as well! You guys rock! -Hugs again-

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**_Disclaimer: Still don't own it. Although, I am planning on selling my soul for it!_**

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**_First Time Sharing a Hotel room with the Bladebreakers._**

**_Reaction: Nothing, just stares out the window._**

_Thoughts: MAX AND TYSON SNORE SO BLOODY LOUD! HOW THE FUCK DOES MR. DICTATORSON THINK THIS WILL WORK?! I can already feel my IQ drop. -Tries to suffocate Tyson with a pillow- Damnit Ray, don't spoil my fun! _

_Damnit, he woke up. THANKS A LOT RAY WE COULD HAVE LEFT!_

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**_When Ray has to decide to leave the Bladebreakers to join the White Tigers, or stay with the team._**

**_Reaction: Nothing, again. What a jackass._**

_Thoughts: HOW DARE THAT BASTARD TRY TO SWITCH TEAMS, THAT'S MY JOB IN LATER SEASONS! JESUS CHRIST. i'M THE ONLY TRAITOR IN _THIS_ GROUP! Grr. Must... Convince... To... Stay... plus, if he leaves NO MORE MAKE-OUT SESSIONS! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I HAVE TO MAKE HIM STAY! SO I CAN SMIRK AND LAUGH WHEN TYSON SAYS I'M NOT GETTING ANY!_

_I think it's the other way around._

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_Jesus. I'm making him a total whore aren't I? Although, his responses are pretty much the same._

The name Dictatorson does not belong to me.

Queen Tangerine


	6. Beating Tyson and Asia

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Six

_No talking, more writing!_

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**_Disclaimer: Nope! Not at all!_**

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**_First Time Beating Tyson_**

**_Reaction: -All cocky and stuff- (A/N: Cocky is a funny word. Not cock, cocky, see? It's funny.)_**

_Thoughts: Was that even a person? It looked more like a manatee... jesus. That is a person! What kind a fucking name is Tyson anyway? Parents must've been stoned or something... reminds me of my own parents, wherever the hell they are. Buncha jackasses. What kind of parent let's their kids do whatever the hell they want? _

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**_The Plane Ride to Asia._**

**_Reaction: -Silence- -Occasional smartass comment-_**

_Thoughts: WHAT THE HELL?! How does this work exactly? Did they even ASK their families if they COULD travel? What, are they all stoners? MY parents would have never done this shit... oh wait, they're the dipshits that left me with Voltaire, of course they would have! For God's sake. What kind of sane person would leave me with an old shit anyway? Must be why my clothes are gay looking. WAIT A MINUTE! MY CLOTHES AREN'T GAY! THAT'S JUST TYSON BEING A JEALOUS BITCH AGAIN! My clothes are a million times sexier then anything HE'LL ever wear... damn, Ray has better taste then me... oh well, at least it gives me a better view of his ass. _

_My Ray is so sexy. (_A/N: Oh my God. I just wrote that... -Runs away-)

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Anyway, that's enough for today! Tune in for next update coming shortly!


	7. Losing to Max and Voltaire

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Seven

_My friends claim I am evil. But you all don't think that, do you? -Grins- _

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**_Disclaimer: Nope! Not at all!_**

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**_Losing to Max in Mini Tournament_**

**_Reaction: -Shock-_**

_Thoughts: ...Can't...Think...Rage...Coursing...Through...Self...Must...KILL...Blonde...Whore...Goddamnit..._

_I think I spilt my pants... _

_(He calls everyone a whore. Just because he's hiding his insecurties. What a, sexy, loser.)_

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**_Telling The Bladebreakers about Voltaire._**

**_Reaction: -Too busy revealing information-_**

_Thoughts: Why do they look so shocked? FOR GOD SAKES! Obviously, I knew SOMETHING about their stupid plan, for crying out loud! I mean, COME ON! God, they are all idiots, except Ray, he's a sexy idiot. -Drools- Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, why are they so shocked? I mean, it's not like they didn't see this coming! Where were they when the writers went over this? Probably making out or something! Gasp!_

_I just realized, TYSON PROBABLY MADE OUT WITH RAY! I'LL KILL THAT WENCH! Grrr. Great, Tala's calling. OH FUCK!_

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_To answer the question a reviewer asked, well, to Kai, Tyson is fat and ugly and has grey hair, so he would compare him to a manatee. That's all. So yeah, it's because of his hair... and weight, and... his 'uglyness'. _

_Anyway, thanks to all that reviewed! Kai has a dirty mouth doesn't he? We should get him Orbit gum. That'll clean it up!_

_Now, go review. Next chapter will be up shortly._

_Love,_

_Queen Tangerine._


	8. Hilary and King and Queen: V Force

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Eight

_On to V-force. The pairings of this little story go by season. The left over chappies, as there WILL be twenty seven, will be for random things! Like: Cell Phones, and other useless household items._

_Season 1: Kai/Ray_

_Season 2: Kai/Tyson_

_Season 3: Kai/Tala_

_See? Alright, let's get to it! Any and all ideas are accepted._

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**_Disclaimer: Nope! Not at all!_**

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_**First Time Meeting Hilary**: _

**_(Hilary/Kai fans may want to leave. I _HATE _Kai/Hil. Love them both, just not together. I'm a Kai/Ming fangirl. Blame Lamanth and her amazing Oneshots. However, YAOI fangirls can stay.)_**

**_Reaction: -Walks Away-_**

_Thoughts:_ _Who? Who the hell is Hilary? Well, whoever she is she better stay the HELL away from MY Ray and Tyson! Wow_ _these pants look GREAT on me! Tyson is really skinny now! He looks better then Ray... aw poor kitty cat. But still, I wonder why this bitch is here?_ _She must be sleeping with one of them? But which one? Max? No, he's too innocent and sweet for that! Ray?_ _No, he's too stupid to do anything like that. No wonder the pink haired whore- I mean, Mariah dumped him._

_SO THAT MEANS THAT SLUT IS SLEEPING WITH_ MY_ TYSON! I'll kill her! Muahaha!_

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**_Loosing to King and Queen:_**

**_Reaction: (I have to see this eppie, but I'll put in something that would fit our cold-hearted bastard.) -Shock-_**

_Thoughts: Too...Angry...at...Losing...To...Albino...man...and...his...slutty...sister... HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?! The bad-ass loner characters are NEVER supposed to lose! Never, then these sons a bitches come and bother me! What the hell?! Get away from MY Tyson King! I'll kill you!_

_-Wishes was never born so sexy-_

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Alright. That wasn't very funny to me, at least, I know I sound negative, but I couldn't think of what to write for the last one. Sorries!

Huggles to all my reviewers!

Love, Queen Tangerine.

By the way, the pairing list is important!


	9. Wyatt and Dunga

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Nine

**_Disclaimer: Still don't own a damn thing!_**

**_Warning: For sensitive fans, please if you would, get the fuck out._**

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**_First Time Meeting Wyatt: (There's a lot of first's for him, isn't there? :D)_**

**_Reaction: -No response-_**

_Thoughts: Holy Shit. I thought the fangirls were scary! This dude is a fucking stalker! STALKER! I should tell Tyson... wait, he hates me... (Kai/Ty fangirls Boo) Goddamnit, he's not even a good looking stalker like in those Lifetime movies, oh yeah, that reminds me, I gotta set the VCR for 'My Little Pony: The Movie'. I am SO getting it on DVD when I can, but since my dumbass grandfather spent our money on cones of plastic, I have to wait until I'm eighteen to get a hold of the rest of the money. I HATE YOU VOLTAIRE! Just because I had a gay porn stash that I spent your money on doesn't mean that you should keep it from me! OH SHIT!_

_THAT WYATT GUY KEEPS FUCKING STARING AT ME, MAYBE I SHOULD SHOW HIM A PICCY OF TYSON!_

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**_That Bulge in Dunga's Pants in Episode 5: (I can't even bring myself to write it!)_**

**_Reaction: -Pretends not to notice-_**

_Thoughts: I know what this guy wants, but I must remain loyal to Tyson, and Ray... and Tala... oh hell, I give up. My sex drive is through the roof right now, Britney Spears had it right... not that I listen to it it's just... shit. My cellphone is going off. Stupid 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' ringtone! I can't believe I actually fucking TIED with someone! I am badass goddamnit! I should always win, ALWAYS! But no, my sexy ass teammate Tyson has to! FUCKDAMMNIT!_

_These pants look great on me. I'll have to steal... I mean borrow Wyatt's pants tomorrow as well. TIME TO GO SHOPPING!_

_Fabulous!_

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_Kyaaaaa! He admits to liking Britney Spears, I knew it all along! My apologies go out to Lamanth, for she may have been mauled by crazy, Kai/Hil fangirls! I meant that your oneshots are one of the reasons why I started liking Kai/Mimi pairings! _

_That and the two are just so impossibly cute together! _

_And yes, Kai likes to always be on top. :D_


	10. School and New Outfit

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Ten

Queen: Cheers! You all seem to love this fic! -Hugs-

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**_Disclaimer: Still don't own it. Although, I am planning on selling my soul for it!_**

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**_First Day of School: (I did these out of order to be different. And because there isn't alot of firsts for our cold-hearted bishie in the second season!)_**

**_Reaction: -All Cool and shit-_**

_Thoughts: Oh my God! First time I've ever been in school. All these kids are such jackasses! Oh, they're all looking at me! Nuuuuuu._ _I don't like people staring at me! Unless it's Tyson, Ray and Tala! They can look all they want. I mean, I know I'm sexy but for crying out loud, does EVERYONE feel the need to look at me and want to get in my pants?! Can't a guy get a break?! _

_Well, at least I have good pants on. _

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**_Kai's New Outfit: (Special section! Isn't it great?! Say it is, dammit!)_**

**_Reaction: -Checks self out- (Narcisstic bastard.)_**

_Thoughts: I look good, I mean really good. Hey, Ray, Tyson, come and see how good I look! Aren't I a sexy piece of ass?! why are they staring at me like that? OH NO, NOT THE HANDCUFFS! _

_Please guys, not the handcuffs, I paid good money for this shit!_

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_And now we know. Kai sure doesn't like attention unless it's from his bitches. Yes, I called Ray, Tala and Tyson his bitches. Shut up. _

_Anyway, go review._

_Love, Queen Tangerine_


	11. Island Escape Ideas and Zeo

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Eleven

Queen: I'm gonna finish this ficcy before starting my other stories! Sorries to all fans of my other fics, but this one will be done in about a week, if I can. Since I forgot last chapter, -Raises a glass of vodka in the air- Cheers on reaching double digits in a story!

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**_Disclaimer: Still don't own it. Although, I am planning on selling my soul for it!_**

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_**Being Trapped on the Island:**_

**_Reaction: -Thinks of ways out-_**

_Thoughts: WHAT THE HELL?! I thought all the freaky shit that happened last season wouldn't happen this time around! THEY'RE JUST SPINNING TOPS FOR CHRIST SAKE! _

_They really need to chill out. These scientists should go see my friend Bob. He can hook them up with some excellent weed._

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**_First Meeting Zeo: (Zeo and Tyson get pretty close... oh dear.)_**

**_Reaction: -Acts all Badass-_**

_Thoughts: Who the hell does that blue-haired freak think he is?! How dare he come between me and MY Tyson. I'll kill him! And what's with his long-ass hair. The only male allowed to have long-ass hair on this show is Ray! And why is it blue? Aren't there enough blue-haired freaks on this show. I am not including myself as my hair is grey, yeah that's right, GREY! _

_I'm bored. At least I have a cool cell phone ringtone, The Hamster Song! Why is everyone covering their ears? Freaks._

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Queen: My friends hate the Hamster Song, I don't know why, I'm with Kai on this one, it's really cool. I like it. But then, I'm that special person that knows how to annoy the hell out of complete strangers soooo...

Anyway, thanks to my reviewers! I love you guys! Just not in a strange way.

Queen Tangerine


	12. Escaping and Meetings

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Twelve

I'm so happy! I turn seventeen in a week!

Muse: No one cares.

Editor: She didn't ask if anyone cared. She's just excited. Let the little psychopath be happy.

Muse: _Fine_. I mean if I really have too.

Queen: Thank you. Wait, _I'm _a psychopath?

Editor: Yes.

Anyway, on to the story. Can't guarantee the swearing to be minimal. Sorry. But I'll try!

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**_Disclaimer: Didn't we go over this? Still don't own it. Never will._**

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**_Escaping the Island that I am Too Lazy to Figure Out What It's Really Named:_**

**_Reaction: -Smiles- (HE ACTUALLY SMILED! THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING!!)_**

_Thoughts: THANK GOD! Although, I wonder who the fuck was BRIGHT enough to leave a bunch of teenagers in such a tiny place for so long! I'm all horny now... Oh, Tyson! Why are they all staring at me? Oh fuck, I'm revealing emotion! Gotta go back to my anti-social self... WHAT?! I CAN SMILE TOO! Buncha bastards. Thinking I can't smile... I'll be so effing happy, they won't know what hit them!_

(I think that's when his badassness vanished. :D)

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**_Seeing the Bladebreakers again:_**

**_Reaction: -Usual Pose-_**

_Thoughts: Hilary keeps staring at me... it's so fucking creepy! CREEPY! Oh, look, Max is here. He and Tyson are hugging... THAT. BASTARD. Don't touch **MY **uke, you... blonde asshole! Yeah, that's right, you just let go of him... Asswipe. GODDAMMIT HILARY, STOP STARING AT ME, I KNOW I'M HOT BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS! _

_Stupid whore. Finally, she looks away._

_

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_Queen: Woot! Alright, that's the update, hope you all liked it!

Muse: -Blinks- Why are you so happy?

Editor: Didn't we go over this, she's happy because-

Muse: I GET IT!

All: We hoped you all liked it! REVIEW!


	13. Dranzer and Fierce Battle

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Thirteen

Queen: Alright then, here's chappie thirteen, now no talking, just writing! Thanks to all my reviewers! You guys are what keep me writing!

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**_Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade, I will never own Beyblade but if I somehow aquire enough funds to buy it, I would probably still be writing, only I would have hot shirtless cabana boys writing it for me, while they fan me by my gigantic pool in Venice..._**

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**_Kai's Lack of Apperances in Beyblade: Fierce Battle._**

**_Reaction: Was he even there? Was there a reaction? I mean... really._**

_Thoughts: Oh yeah, time to get my act on! Wait... WHAT THE HELL?! I barely show up! WTF?! I'm the best character on this show! Better then that ginger fucker Daichi anyday! What kind of effing name is Daichi anyway? I mean, what does it even mean, and why the hell is he so damned short?! He's shorter then Ian. I wonder how the little fucker is doing. Probably fucking Tala or some shit. I should call him. -Shakes head- Godamnit, Daichi, stop challenging my boyfriend! Quit doing dumb shit with him! _

_I sure hope that little son of a bitch keeps his perverted mits off my Tyson._

_I'm the only one allowed to be a pervert around here._

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**_Continuous Dranzer stealing attempts._**

**_Reaction: Rage...Coursing...Through...Self..._**

_Thoughts: THOSE NO GOOD DIRTY ROTTEN SONS A FUCKING BITCHES! DRANZER! RAGE...DANCING...THROUGH...VEINS... DRANZER! Don't worry I'll save you from those cyber whores! _

_I SWEAR I WILL! Don't set me on fire for taking too long! I'm sorry! Ack! Don't beat me like you did when I took Black Dranzer! Ack! Dammit! GIVE ME DRANZER BACK YOU BASTARDS! She'll beat me with shit._

_She's done that before... Maybe I should have kept Black Dranzer, she liked to get high with me... I mean... ah... yeah. I'm gonna shut up now._

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Alright, what do you think? Was it good? Don't forget to review, only one more chappie til G-Rev! YAY! -Claps-

REVIEW.

Love, Queen Tangerine


	14. Losing and Dranzer's Violence

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Fourteen

My favorite Season is next! -Celebrates-

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**_Disclaimer: Still don't own a damn thing! Although, I wished I owned shirtless attractive cabana boys and a mansion in Venice._**

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**_Losing to Zeo... (There seems to be a lot of loss for him in this season, isn't there? G-Rev is next kiddies!)_**

**_Reaction: -Shock-_**

_Thoughts: WHAT THE HELL. How in the hell did I lose to a beginner! Great. I lost the bet. He gets to have a date with Tyson... son of a bitch. Maybe that's why he was trying so hard? He must really be in love with Tyson._

_Obsessive stalking son of a bitch._

_How did I lose to a turquoise haired fucker?_

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**_Bonus section: Dranzer's Beatings._**

**_Reaction: NUUU PLEASE DON'T HURT ME, I'M TOO SMEXY TO BE KILLED! NUUUU!_**

_Thoughts: She's so violent! BD (Black Dranzer) is better then her! At least she didn't beat me everytime we lost! __(That's because you never lost.) __AND WHY DO I KEEP HEARING THIS SILKY FEMALE VOICE EVERYTIME I'M THINKING! __(Because someone has to be sane in this joint.) __SHUT UP VOICE! __(Make me, whore.) __I am not a whore! __(What do you call moving from Ray to Tyson then, eh?)__I HAVE NEEDS! __(Yeah, right. Why does this amazing and awesome Dranzer dude beat you again?) __I keep doing weed and losing.__(You think those two may have a relation to each other? Maybe if you stop doing drugs you won't lose so fucking much.) SHUT UP! (See ya later, stoner! Don't be a man whore now!)I AM NOT A MAN WHORE! (Whatever.) _

_Kyaaaaa! I'll kill you! -Chases-_

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Queen: -Sees Kai hitting his head against random solid objects complaining about 'the voices'- What's wrong with him?

Dranzer: -Sliky female voice- I don't know. -Grins to self evily-

Queen: Uhhh... yeah... -Backs away slowly-

Dranzer: What's wrong?

Queen: Oh... nothing, nothing at all.

(In case you didn't know, Dranzer was the one talking smack to Kai.)

Both: REVIEW! KYAAAA! G-REV IS NEXT! -Raises Vokda glasses in the air-


	15. Tala and Almost Loosing: Season Three

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Fifteen

Here we go! A big-shout out to all of my worshippers... I mean fans... I love you all! -Hands out cookies-

**Important notice: Dranzer will be adding her commentary and smart ass remarks in these little sections. Her parts will be in parentheses, like this:**

**(Kai is a traitorus man whore.) See? Like that.**

**Tala/Kai pairing fangirls can now be happy.**

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**_Disclaimer: Still don't own a damn thing! Although, I wished I owned shirtless attractive cabana boys and a mansion in Venice._**

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**_Tyson's angry outburst toward him defecting to the Blitzkrieg Boys (Holy shit. I may have spelled that right.)_**

**_Reaction: -Says some insulting things about his old team, then walks away-_**

_Thoughts: Sorry Tyson! I'm just not that into you anymore. Tala is much sexier. I'm sorry that you love me still, but it's over. Your team does suck monkey balls, except it. -Stares at his ass as he walks away- Goddamn him! WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT?! -Drools- Very sexy though... (Ew.) Doesn't he realize that I am the token traitor in this whole show? It's my job to keep switching teams. That's what the writers pay me to do, maybe if you weren't out with Max and Ray having an orgy with everyone else, then you would have known that Tyson. Dumbass. God, Tala has a nice ass. -Drifts off in thoughts-_

_(Jeez, man whore much?)_

_Shut up Dranzer!_

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**_Facing Max in a battle and almost losing._**

**_Reaction: -Has new respect for Max-_**

_Thoughts: I ALMOST LOST TO A MAMA'S BOY?! THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL. Loosing to a fat tub of lard (His new nickname for his old lover, Tyson.) is one thing, but almost loosing to an idiotic mama's boy is another! I'll get Tala to beat his ass later. Oh wait! He lost to that muscle-head son of a bitch Rick! For God's sake Tala! You suck horse balls! THIS is the former world champ? What a crock of shit. JEEZ TALA, NO NEED TO ACT LIKE YOU DON'T WANT TO CRY! I KNOW YOU DO! Don't worry my love, I will avenge you! That bastard owes me drug money anyway. STEROIDS AREN'T CHEAP YA KNOW!_

_(Hn, that's why he was so determinded to win. He really is a man whore. And a druggie)_

_DRANZER, DON'T MAKE ME DESTROY YOU._

_(GO AHEAD AND TRY! It's your fault we almost lost to a Mama's boy!)_

_SHUT UP!_

Queen: -Glares at Kai who is glaring at her-

Kai: Why in the hell am I such an idiotic man whore in this series? What about your other parodies, the ones that weren't about me!

Dranzer: Because you're a huffy little drama queen who's real personality is hidden under so many layers.

Kai: ARE YOU SAYING THAT THIS IS MY REAL PERSONALITY?!

Queen and Dranzer: Yes. Okay, go review kiddies.

Kai: No, don't review this crap! NONE OF IT IS TRUE! Ack!

All but Kai: REVIEW! THE GODS OF CHIBIS AND SPORKS COMMANDS YOU.


	16. Hiro and Dranzer's Demise

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Sixteen

Yo! Hello! Hi! How are you? Okay, that's enough asskissing.

I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FOR NOT UPDATING! I've been busy and... yeah... you know what? I'm just gonna shut up and get on with it.

* * *

**Disclaimer: How many times are we going to go over this? Tell me?! Because I sure as hell don't know. Maybe in an paralell universe I'll own something but until then... -Shrugs-**

* * *

**_First Meeting Tyson's Brother Hiro._**

**_Reaction: Tyson has a brother?_**

_Thoughts: What the hell?! Why is there another Granger wandering around this hellhole? That is just what we need! Another dumbass ruining my plans. What are my plans exactly? ...Godamnit think! Great hanging around with the idiot brothers has really made me stupid-_

_(For God sake Kai, would you stop? So Tyson has a brother, at least he has a member of his family that ISN'T an evil bit beast making son of a B-BEEP-h.)_

_I should have picked Black Dranzer... I really should have._

_(Bite me, you blue haired bastard!)_

_Who, Tyson? Or Hiro, they both have blue hair._

_(Tyson's hair is black, dickface. And isn't that Hiro guy kinda sexy? Isn't he? Isn't he?)_

_Yeah I gues- HEY! NO HE IS NOT! Tala is a million times sexier then that moron._

_(Oh so if Hiro is a moron then what does that make you?)_

_... Special._

_(You're in denial.)_

_Bite me!_

_(Do you mean that literally?)_

_... I feel like going back to Russia and throwing you in Lake Baikal right now! (Or whatever it's f-beep-ing called.)_

_(You wouldn't dare, you need me, I'm the one who does all the work, you just stand there and yell at me and keep me away from todays pyschopathic moron who thinks that spinning tops will help him take over the world. Seriously, who the f-beep-k thinks that is a good idea? But back to Hiro, he is a sexy beast.)_

_LIES ALL LIES! Tala is sexier!_

_(HIRO!)_

_TALA!_

_(Hiro godammit. I can't believe I'm aruging with a stoner. I'm a pheonix darnit! A badass! And I'm stuck with this moron!)_

_BITE ME YOU FLAMING CHICKEN!_

* * *

**_Losing Dranzer... forever?_**

**_Reaction: Thanks for hanging in there for me... -faints-_**

_Thoughts: Free! Finally free! Thank God I don't have to listen to her whining anymore! And I'm not going to get beat for getting high anymore great! I can do things now! I can do anyone I want... wait did I say anyone, I meant anything! ANYTHING, NOT ANYONE! I'm not a whore. I'm not a whore, really! Believe me! I AM NOT! NOT! NOT NOT! NOT! NOT!_

_**(Denial... Dranzer was right, such denial...)**_

_Who the hell are you? Dranzer's gone!_

_**(Uh... I'm your... conscience, yeah!)**_

_Okay then. -Celebrates Dranzer's death-_

_**(DRANZER!)**_

_(Voice!)_

_Holy crap! I wasn't celebrating! Really! -Hides 'Dranzer's Dead' banner-_

_(I'll kill you! KILL YOU! -Chases-)_

_Arg! No, I'm going to DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!_

**_(Cool if you do, I get your stereo!)_**

* * *

Queen: I wanted his stereo... aw man.

Voice: Yeah, well, you know when I die, then you get it.

Dranzer: I thought I get it when you die...

Voice: Uh... when I die you all can, um... kill each other for it... whoever is left standing gets the stereo?

Dranzer and Queen: Okay then... -glare at each other-

Voice: Um... don't forget to review yeah? Queen's been busy with school and such. In fact she's typing this at school right now... soo yeah. REVIEW.


	17. Losing to Tyson Again & Betrayal

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Seventeen

Here we go! A big-shout out to all of my worshippers... I mean fans... I love you all! -Hands out cookies-

**Yes, Hiro is sex on legs, Lamb(Can I call you that? Don't kill me!)**

**Please note: I love Kai, and I did cry when Dranzer shattered, I had to console myself with Death Note manga, and now I feel better! I still love Kai very much and if you fangirls harrass me one more time I shall find you. **

**Info Please:**

**_(This is my commentary, because I f--king can write it damnit.)_**

* * *

**_Disclaimer: Still don't own a damn thing! Although, I wished I owned shirtless attractive cabana boys and a mansion in Venice._**

* * *

**_Losing to Tyson... again._**

**_Reaction: -Smiles and says some nice things about Tyson's 'spirit'. _**

_Thoughts: Oh look at all the pretty rainbows... so light and fluffy, oh shit! That cloud looks like a mouse trying to snowboard and it's coming toward me! ... TYSON, MAX, RAY, TALA come look at this cloud ... it's so ... f--king awesome ... dude man ... I love this stuff from Brazil ... SMOKE THAT WEED HOMIE! I'm a G, bitches! See my pimpin scarf?_

_(You're as high as a fucking kite aren't you?)_

_Whoa. Who said that man..._

_**(For fuck's sake. Guess Kai is stoned guys...)**_

_Two voices... freaky shit man... I got the munchies... where's my bloody cheetos! Cuz I will kick some ass if I do not find them.. TYSON! GIVE ME BACK MY CHEETOS WHORE!_

_(I'm an addict for dramatics I confuse the two for love... Liar, Liar, if we're keepin score...It takes one to know one... -Sings-)_

**_(Is that my Taking Back Sunday CD? -Snatches- STOP TAKING MY STUFF!)_**

_I thought Dranzer was dead... AWESOME, she came back to life... swueet._

_(Dumbass... I'm a pheonix... I die a flaming death then I'm reborn from the ashes... moron... Nuuu.. Taking Back Sunday...)_

* * *

**_Betraying the BladeBreakers... again. This time to Join the pedo's (Boris's) team. (Jesus.)_**

**_Reaction: What f--king reaction, he should be used to this sort of thing by now._**

_Thoughts: I have to beat Tyson... I must beat him... for he has my PANTS! Godamnit! My favorite pair of pants from the first season! They dont' make them anymore! Nuuu! Must ... Get ... My ... Fucking ... Pants! And why the hell did I smile when I lost?! I LOST TO A FATASS THERE IS NOTHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT!_

_(They are THAT out of date? Thank Tyson then. For christ sake, you probably were high.)_

_YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!_

**_(For crying out loud. We explained that she is basically immortal!)_**

_When was this?! I wasn't informed! YOU LIE! LIEEEEEEEE! -Sounds like Zim from Invader Zim-_

_(What ... The...)_

**_(... Shit.)_**

_You're both dumbasses._

_(FUCK YOU! -Dranzer proceeds to beat the shit out of Kai while Queen watches-)_

_**-Due to violent content, this part is now over. Sorry. We can't have innocent children be preforming these stunts, because it's stories like this that cause children to do dumb things... it's us violent writers' fault that the parents are too damn lazy to teach their kids the difference between reality and fiction-**_

* * *

**_Queen: Thanks to all that reviewed, those Kai/Hil fangirls are brutal little fuckers. Hiro is still considered sex on legs.. although not as cute as Brooklyn, but still very close. -Drools- As for the threesome between Hiro, Brookie and Mimi... WHEN?_**

**_Oh yeah one last thing: I GOT TO GO TO A MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE CONCERT AND JUMP AROUND IN THE MOSHPIT LIKE A PYSCHO AND YOU DIDN'T! Haha._**

**_Sorry about that, but if it's any consolation, I got a nosebleed! And now I have an ugly bruise on my nose!_**


	18. Brooklyn and Garland Killing Tala

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Eighteen

Yo! Hello! Hi! How are you? Okay, that's enough asskissing.

* * *

**Disclaimer: How many times are we going to go over this? Tell me?! Because I sure as hell don't know. Maybe in an parallel universe I'll own something but until then... -Shrugs-**

* * *

**_First Battle with Brooklyn and Losing Said Battle: (Yay Brookie! -Throws confetti-)_**

**_Reaction: -Falls down, appears to be dead-_**

_Thoughts: What the heck? Why do I keep losing, man this floor is dirty! Speaking of dirty, I gotta kill Tala for that stunt he pulled before that asshole Garland put him into a coma! Dirty, Dirty boy!_

_(Great, if he isn't talking about drugs then he's talking about his budding sex life.)_

**_(I noticed. He's an incompetent bastard, but we love him anyway.)_**

_(You maybe. Tyson was a better master then him.)_

**_(THAT has to make Kai feel better.)_**

_(I thought so.)_

_BOTH OF YOU, SHUT UP! Can't you see I'm thinking my dirty thoughts here!_

_( ... )_

**_( ... )_**

_Thank you. Now as I was saying, Tala is a sexy beast... gah. I'm all horny again._

_(Great. Just what I needed; a creepy visual.)_

**_(Could be worse.)_**

_(How?)_

**_(He could have you in that little fantasy too.)_**

_( O.O )_

_Jesus, you two make me sound like some sort of man whore. I NEED MY WEED DAMNIT! Although that Brooklyn kid is pretty sexy... maybe he could have a threesome with me and Tala!_

_(YOU ARE A MAN WHORE!)_

* * *

**Garland Putting Tala into a Coma... with a Spinning Top:**

**Reaction: There wasn't one! Haha! So much for loving him! (Kai gets all the boys in the yard! -Sings 'Milkshake' by Kelis- For fuck's sake. I HATE THIS SONG!)**

_Thoughts: What the hell is with everyone falling down and almost dying in this anime? THEY'RE JUST SPINNING TOPS FOR GOD'S SAKE! Not weapons! Some people are just... gah. _

_(And yet you use a spinning top.)_

_Shut up. Just shut up._

_(Bite me.)_

_No thanks. Only for Tala._

_(O.O STOP WITH THE MENTAL IMAGES!)_

_Okay, okay sorry, geez! You're such a prude._

**_(Kai apologized! Oh my God! -Runs in circles, then rams into a tree-)_**

_(Jesus Christ, Queen.)_

_ANYWAY. That's fine and all, but can we please focus on ME for like five seconds?! Self-centered assholes. Let's focus on ME after all, I am the main character!_

_(I thought Tyson was the main character?)_

_SHUT UP! _

_(Asshole.)_

_I SAID SHUT UP! WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HOW STUPID SPINNING TOPS ARE AND ABOUT HOW SEXY I AM!_

**_(Someone stop the room, I wanna get off!)_**

_Dumbass..._

* * *

Kai's a hypocrite! HYPOCRITE! I SAY WE ALL BURN HIS PANTS.. -Has a spazz attack-

Dranzer: Calm down Queen. And what is everyone's obsession with Kai's pants?

He never wears them.

Dranzer: Ah. Anyway, please go read Queen's story: ICE KING and tell her what you think. Thanks.


	19. Brooklyn Again and Hiatus

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Nineteen

* * *

**_Yay! Brookie's in this Chapter! _**

_Kai: What's so great about that?_

**Bite me! Brookie's better then you! -Smiles- He's doing the disclaimer right now!**

**Brooklyn: Queen Tangerine does not own Beyblade, just Kai's random and sometimes disturbing thoughts..**

**Thank you! At least SOMEONE appreciates my existance.**

_Kai: Only because you paid him._

**Screw off! On with the Fic, kiddos. Kai has a thing for redheads now. I feel like crap and Brooklyn is a better blader then Kai. -Coughs-**

* * *

**_Second Time Battling Brooklyn! (This time he actually won! -Has a heart attack-)_**

**_Reaction: -Raises fist in the air, falls into Tyson's arms-_**

_Thoughts: WTF? I collasp on the ground and TYSON'S the one who catches me? Where the hell is Tala? And for that matter how come someone as sexy as Brooklyn be that powerful? And my clothes are ripped! -Flexes muscles- Oh well, at least I look sexy! Sexier then any of these bitches anyway._

_(I swear to God, you are such a man whore.)_

_Shut up._

**_(No, she's right. You are one. Have to tell Lambs that.) _**

_(I thought she already knew!) _

**_(Yeah, but I felt that since she's like, the best reviewer ever, and the best Oneshot writer ever, at least to me, she should have her own shoutout! Along with RebelMewPheonix!)_**

_Whatever, can we please GET BACK TO ME?! AFTER ALL THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS!_

_(Kai, shut up, the adults are talking.)_

_Anyway, I look sexy, Dranzer's going to die, YAY, and Queen is a pyscho._

_

* * *

_

**_Finding out that Queen is sick with the flu and therefore can't write very well._**

**_Reaction: -Pretends to care-_**

_Thoughts: YES! FINALLY I HAVE MY THOUGHTS TO MYSELF! ALL TO MYSELF! YAY! -Does a girly dance- THANK GOD THAT QUEEN BITCH IS GONE!_

_(Great, now who am I going to have sane conversations with, can't be stoner boy over here.)_

_FUCK YOU!_

_(Bite me, dough boy!)_

_Are you calling me fat?! I'll destroy your blade!_

_(You need me, loser.)_

_NO I Don't!_

_(How else is Tala going to keep you on the team, it's not as if he can say to the others 'Kai doesn't have a bitbeast, but since we're screwing he's gonna stay on the team'. Yeah, that'll go over real well.)_

_Whatever. QUEEN ISN'T GOING TO BE WRITING FOR A FEW DAYS, YAY! -Holds up 'Queen is taking a Hiatus' banner._

**_(Just for that, next section will be details about you and Tala's relationship, and that little thing on the side with Ming Ming!)_**

_You can't do that!_

**_(I am the Almighty Authoress, I can do whatever I please!)_**

_(He hooked up with Ming Ming?)_

**_(Yes, he's very open minded! -Grins, then coughs-)_**

_YOU BOTH MAKE ME SOUND LIKE A WHORE! -Goes off to cry-_

_(What a baby.)_

* * *

__

**-Coughs uncontrolably- Jesus.**

**Brooklyn: You alright? -Hands a tissue-**

**Thanks. Yeah, it's just I hate being sick!**

**Brooklyn: There, there. -Pats back-**

**You're so nice, much nicer then Kai, I wonder how Ming puts up with him.**

**Kai: -Glares-**

**-Sticks up middle finger, coughs again, reaches for tissue- You should be happy I'm taking a break.**

**Brooklyn: -Sighs as Queen and Kai beat the crap out of each other- Don't forget to review, and hope that Queen gets better.**

**Thankies Brookie!**


	20. Barthez and Battling Ray

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Twenty

* * *

**Woo! I'm back baby! -Does cartwheels-**

**Kai: Great, now my thoughts will be out for everyone to know!**

**Brooklyn: For someone who's been sick, you're pretty jumpy.**

**You know it!**

**Big thanks go out to _FairyDris, Lamanth, KILLYOUALL, RebelMewPheonix, and YinYangMatrix!_ **

**As for the question, well, I just figured that Kai would be bisexual, or at the very least, not really care who he opens his legs for, besides, Tala's in a coma. We all know Kai's budding sex drive prevents him from actually taking a break, even though his lover's in the hospital.**

**Hm. Kai and Johnny you say? I think we can work that. Kai, do the disclaimer!**

**Kai: _Queen Tangerine does not own Beyblade, just my thoughts that she totally makes up!_**

**_Quite right! -Does another cartwheel-_**

* * *

_**Kai's Thoughts on the Barthez Battalion, (Or however it's effing spelled.)**_

**_Reaction: -Doesn't care-_**

_Thoughts: Who? Who the hell are these freaks, and why are they cheating at spinning tops, for God's sake, what's this world coming to._

_(Well, your the one dating a cyborg. Who was also made to spin tops.)_

_Shut up. Your sarcasm is not welcome._

_(Never is.) _

_Anyway, who do these losers think they are? Not a one of them is even sexy! There goes my plan to give them a 'greeting'._

_**(For Christ sake Kai. You really are a man whore.)**_

_No one asked you! Besides, I didn't do anything._

_(Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, bitch.)_

_BITCH?! I OUGHT TO BITCHSLA-_

**_(Such dirty language Kai! Shame on you!)_**

_What are you talking about? Every other word out of your mouth is fuck!_

_(And every other word in your head has to do with that word alot)_

_STOP INFERING THAT I AM A MAN WHORE!_

_(THEN STOP ACTING LIKE ONE!)_

**_(Both of you are whores.)_**

_WHAT?! I'll kill you!_

* * *

**_Kai Vs. Ray_**

**_Reaction: -Wins-_**

_Thoughts: Sorry Ray! Even though you were great in bed, I had to win, besides, I noticed you and Lee getting pretty cozy, heh. At least I'm not the only one getting some. -Giggles-_

_( -.- I offcially know too damn much.)_

**_(O.o Me too. Jesus Kai.)_**

_WHAT?! What? Is there something on my face, is Ray checking out my ass?_

_(YOU JUST BATTLED ONE OF YOUR EX LOVERS AND ALL YOU CAN THINK OF IS IF HE'S CHECKING OUT YOUR ASS!?)_

_What's wrong with that? At least we won! Oh, he IS checking out my ass! RAY! I don't like you that way anymore, no matter how sexy you are!_

**_(For the love of... -Thinks murderous thoughts-)_**

_What? What did I do?_

_(Nevermind.. just nevermind.)_

_-Shrugs- Oooh, Tala was staring at my ass too! YAY!_

* * *

There will be a Johnny/Kai moment in the next chappie! -Does another cartwheel-

Kai: You'd never know that she was in the hospital for exaustion and dehydration.

Brooklyn: Nope. -Watches Tange jump around-

Kai: Sigh. Please review, and tell Tange to stop treating me like I'm a man whore.


	21. The Blitzkrieg Boy and the Bitbeast

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Twenty One

Last chapter for G-Rev baby! Then it's on to more random issues, like... Paris Hilton!

Heh. No offense to those that... oh who gives bloody fuck? She's probably not a fan of this stupid story, get over it.

**Queen Tangerine does not own Beyblade. Yes, Queen Tangerine DOES talk about herself in the third person.**

Kai: That's because your crazy.

Bite her. Sorry, Tange wasn't able to make something for the Kai/Mimi wave. No ideas are bad for her.

* * *

**_Kai's Thoughts on: Dranzer_**

**_Words: She's everything to me...(Seriously, I thought getting some was everything to him.)_**

_Thoughts: SHE'S EVIL, PURE EVIL, SHE MAKES ME ACTUALLY TRY TO BLADE, SHE BEATS ME WHENEVER I GET HIGH OR DO ANYTHING REMOTELY FUN, WHY SHE EVEN INTERUPS MY TIME WITH TALA AND MING MING, SHE'S CRAZY! SHE'S- Oh shit._

_(Your a dead man, Hiwatari.)_

**_(Dibs on Black Dranzer when you die!)_**

_How do you know I kept it? -Is hiding-_

**_(Retard. You said you kept it yourself.)_**

_(Tange, I want to kill him. Stop hiding him.)_

**_(What, I'm not- KAI! I am not shield! I'm just a metaphor to personify the abstract concept of thought.)_**

_Huh?_

_(As usual, your best effort at proving a point are an epic fail.)_

**_(Whatever. Kai's trying to get rid of your blade.)_**

_Hehe. CRAP! DRANZER, DON'T DO THAT, MY LEGS DON'T TWIST LIKE THAT, ONLY WHEN TALA ASKS._

**_( -Wishes was never born- Creepy.)_**

* * *

**_Kai's Thoughts on the 'Blitzkrieg Boy's'.( And why the hell his RUSSIAN teammates used a word that is actually GERMAN.)_**

**_Words: Who cares?_**

_Bryan: Insane pyscho who does not talk, and yet still scares the hell out of me._

_Spencer: Um... let me get back to you, he's glaring at me.._

_Tala: SEXY!! (Of course.)_

_SHUT UP DRANZER! Still, they are dumbasses. I mean seriously. What the fuck? Blitzkrieg is GERMAN dumbasses. GERMAN. I didn't know Russia was a part of Germany!_

_(That's because your a dumb fuck.)_

_But when did Russia become a part of Germany?_

**_(-Smacks Forehead- For crying out loud Kai.)_**

_What? I'm asking a serious question, and ... why are you trying to hang yourself? _

**_(-Sizes up beam- Oh, just your incredible lack of intelligence, you know, if you would start thinking with your mind instead of the part you keep in your briefs, maybe you would know that RUSSIA IS NOT A PART OF GERMANY! Dumbass.)_**

_I do not just think with my libido!_

_(Really? Then how come most of these specials, involve you talking about Tala, Tyson's or Ray's ass? Seriously, Tange has better things to do then learn about your budding sex life.)_

_SHUT UP! IT'S NOT MY FAULT RAY, TALA, AND TYSON ARE HOT! Oh shit! I promised we would have an orgy with Brooklyn, Ming Ming and Garland in a few minutes! Gotta wrap this up, cause Tala's out of his coma, and I'm feeling randy!_

_(-Sizes up beam with Tange- I don't think that will work...)_

_WHY ARE YOU TWO TRYING TO HANG YOURSELVES?_

_(BECAUSE OF YOUR PERVERTEDNESS.)_

_FINE! I'm leaving, I'm getting some and your not! Nya!_

**_(More like getting it all... -Mumbles curses on Kai's libido. I hope you have a heart attack you effing sex nut.)_**

_I HEARD THAT!_

* * *

Kai: What the hell is your sick obsession with making me into some kind of perverted man whore?

Oh silly Kai, don't you know that Queen Tangerine just loves to make fun of you for being one of the most popular characters for Yaoi pairings?

Kai: -Storms off stage- Goddamnit, I'm getting sick of her talking about herself in the third person, she's been doing it all week.

Dranzer: -Hands Tange a twenty- Fine, so that is annoying.

Queen Tangerine thanks you.

Dranzer: -Sweatdrop- Just... review...


	22. The Bladebreakers: Thoughts

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Twenty Two

* * *

Oh my God, an update... believe it or not! -Strikes heroic pose-

Kai: I'm almost afraid to ask...

Shut up. Just because I'm crazy doesn't mean you have to point it out.

Kai: Whatever. Queen Tangerine does not own Beyblade.

That's right, now the next six chapters deal with how he feels about the teams. Yes, Kai is still going to be treated like a man whore.

Kai: Of cours- WAIT! What?!

On with the fic!

* * *

**_Kai's Thoughts on: The Bladebreakers._**

**_Reaction: Hn. Whatever. Don't care._**

_Ray: Mine. That's right fangirls. He's mine, that's all._

_Tyson: Also mine. You whores get away from him. :Growls:_

_(For God's sake Kai, that's not what Queen means by what you think of them.)_

_Is she here right now?_

_(Well no, but-)_

_Well, there you go._

_(HOW DARE YOU INTERUPT ME!)_

_-Gets burnt- Holy hell, I was kidding, Chill out!_

_Max: Who the fuck cares about some blond brat whose a total mama's boy. Seriously, he should jump off a bridge or something._

_Kenny: Who? No seriously, who the hell is that? I've never heard of this 'Kenny' person. Is he the dude from South Park?_

_(Crying out fucking loud... :Prepares sturdy beam:)_

_Maybe she'll die! :Grins:_

_(:Sets on fire:)_

_Crap! My pants are on fire!_

_(Serves you right, asshole! I can't die besides, moron, I'm a pheonix remember, dickweed?)_

_Ouch. Someone stop the room I wanna get off! :Falls:_

_(Bastard.)_

_Hilary: Bimbo who sould be drawn and quartered for hitting on MY men, that harlot. I can't believe she is even considered a member. _

_(Why are you such an ass?)_

_Because, Dranzer, because._

_(Man, I miss Queen, at least she could have a decent conversation.)_

_Well, she's not here! Haha! :gets shot:_

_(Tange, you're here!)_

**_(Course I am. Now, help me cart Kai away before the cops catch me.)_**

_(Why are all my friends complete pyschos?)_

* * *

How was that? Was it an epic fail or not? And I can't believe how mean you are to Hilary Kai!

Kai: I AM NOT. You just make me seem that way to fufill your sick fantasies.

Oh screw you. I was gonna write a Kai and Mimi Oneshot, but no, you ruined it. Blame Kai for the lack of Kai/Mimi during the WAVE. I'm soo sorry! :Gets shot: Fine. Go review.


	23. Dranzer: Draciel is a Stalker

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Twenty Three

Yo! How are you all? Miss me? ...Meh. Probably not. Anyway, my friends say this chapter is funny, but I'll let you decide. Heh.

**Yinyangmatrix** requested that I do Dranzer's thoughts on the bit-beasts, so here it is.

Yes, there is a pairing for Dranzer.

Queen Tangerine does not own Beyblade. Thanks to all that reviewed! Kai's thoughts will be like _(This) for this part._

* * *

**_Dranzer on: Draciel_**

_Thoughts: Eh, some creepy land turtle that keeps stalking me! Why won't he leave me alone? I know I'm pretty and all that, but come on! Surely this perverted little pain in my ass can't harrass me forever._

_(Aw. Poor Dranzer. Serves you right for always setting me on fire.)_

_Oh screw you. Lord knows how many people are stalking you. Must be because you just can't seem to keep it in your pants, hm?_

_(Leave me alone! So I slept with ONE fangirl. ONE!)_

_It only takes once. Man whore._

_(Bite me you flaming chicken!)_

_I AM NOT A FLAMING CHICKEN! OH SHIT! Draciel is coming! LEAVE ME ALONE YOUR PERVERTED TORTOISE! ACK! No! -Uses Blazing Gigs- Ha! Take that mother fucker! Muahahahaha!_

_(You're evil.)_

_And your a perverted man whore whose obsessed with s/m stuff._

_(Screw you!)_

_No thanks! Oh crap, Draciel is still alive! -Shoots-_

_(When did you get a gun?)_

_Internet._

_(Okay then... -Goes off somewhere-)_

_-Starts hearing screams- OH THAT'S NASTY. Ming, Tala Kai, please for the love of God, close the door!_

_(SHUT UP!)_

_FINE! I know when I'm not- HOLY CRAP DRACIEL LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE ALREADY! -Sets on fire, then shoots- Finally, he left. God, I wonder how an innocent boy like Max ended up with such a little bastard. Anyway, that's all the time we have... KNOCK THAT CRAP OFF KAI! YOU TOO MING MING! AND YOU AS WELL TALA!_

_(All: SHUT UP!)_

_I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!_

**_(What is going on?)_**

_Queen! Kai's being perverted with Tala and Ming Ming!_

**_(O.o What the fuck... SHIELD YOUR EYES! -Ducks-)_**

_For God's sake, Draciel, get off me, just... just go stand over there or something... STOP GROPING ME PERVERT! -Crash- Don't make me kill you! ACK!_

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Hehe. Dranzer has a stalker... I don't, she does, she's gonna die, I can sleep at night, haha! Hehe. Yes, Queen stole that from Foamy.

Dranzer: -Glares-

Oh lighten up!


	24. Dranzer: Dragoon's Soulmate

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari: Chapter Twenty Four

Hello kiddies! I have great news, I have received THREE generic flames! While these flames made me giggle insanely, I would like to add that WHY THE HELL DOESN'T ANYBODY LIKE FUCKING KENNY?! I wrote a oneshot for him a week ago, and NO one reviewed. I don't whore to get reviews, really, that would just be pointless, it's just when you work really hard on something and don't get credit for it it kind of pisses you off, no?

The Pairing for Dranzer should be revealed this chapter!

Please freaking read my fic **Thank You**

Queen Tangerine does not own Beyblade. Thanks to all that reviewed! Kai's thoughts will be like _(This) for this part._

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**_Dranzer on: Dragoon_**

_Thoughts: Great. The arrogant jerk. I can't believe Tyson got stuck with such a useless creature. He makes my blood boil! I swear to God.. although he is pretty cut- WHAT THE FUCK?!_

_(Sounds like someone's got a crush!)_

_SHUT UP HIWATARI! I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON THAT ARROGANT, STUCK UP, PERFECT BITBEAST!_

_(You just called him perfect.)_

_SCREW OFF! _

_(Whatever. Just admit it!)_

_THAT'S IT! -Goes pyscho- YOU'RE GONNA DIE HIWATARI!_

**_(I get dibs on your assests Kai!)_**

_(Don't you have any faith that I will get out alive?)_

**_(Nope!)_**

_(Great. Your the best friend ever.)_

_I'll KILL YOU!_

_(Arg! Drazner likes Dragoon, Dranzer likes Dragoo- OUCH! NOT MY FACE, NOT MY FACE! ACK!)_

_Take that boy! That'll teach you to think I have a crush on that great dragon.. sigh. The most idiotic, but sweet dragon ever... WAIT! I DO NOT LIKE THAT IGNORNANT FUCK! I do not! Do not I tell you! You believe me don't you Queen?_

**_(Hm, no. You just called him sweet.)_**

_You're DEAD!_

**_(OH SHIT! Dranzer don't hurt me, hurt Kai! -Sees unconcious Kai- FUCK.)_**

_You're fucked! I'll kick your ass so hard! Come back here!_

_**(-Runs in circles and smacks into a tree- Motherfucker.)**_

_I got you now!_

**_(Nuuu! ACK! Get off please! Please!)_**

_-Smirks-_

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_Dranzer: I aplogize that Queen could not be here today, she's in the hospital you see and.._

_Muse: What are you doing?_

_Dranzer: Nothing, nothing._

_Editor: Where's Queen?_

_Dranzer: Um.. I don't know.._

_Editor: Well, you better fucking find her. Or we will do things to you. Oh, yeah, don't forget to read, the fic **THANK YOU. **_

_Dranzer: What kind of things?_

_Muse: The bad kind._

_Dranzer: Oh shit._


	25. Dranzer: Driger's Um Yeah

The Inner Thoughts of Kai Hiwatari

**-Dodges projectiles- I'm sorry! I know I should have updated sooner, really I do!**

**I'm SO SORRY! -Begins to cry as more violent things are thrown-**

**I'm sooo sorry...**

**Muse: Just shut up and give the people what they want.**

**Okay! I don't own freaking Beyblade**!

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_Dranzer on: Driger_

_Finally! Someone with some damn sanity! If it weren't for the fact he's about as indecisive as Kai when it comes to picking sides. AND HE'S LAZY, THE ONLY EFFORT HE EVER GIVES IS WHEN HE'S TRYING TO RUN FROM ME!_

_(I resent that! I only switched to THREE teams!)_

**_(It's not like it matters, you are still a traitor,)_**

_(WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?! DON'T YOU KNOW WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO UPDATE THIS SINCE FOREVER!)_

_Exactly! I can't believe you! Stupid harpy! DRIGER! -tackleglomps- SANITY HAS RETURNED!_

_Driger: OH FUCK! -Crashes into wall- MUST... ESCAPE!_

_Muhahahahahaha! -Drags him off to do... stuff-_

_(And they call me a whore? WTF?! Dranzer is clearly the whore not me! I just have needs dammit!)_

**_(You're fucking Tyson, Tala, Ming Ming, Max AND Ray! HOW IS THAT NOT WHORISH?)_**

_(Shut up! At least I'm not lazy!)_

**_(I am not lazy!)_**

_(Whatever. I'm still right, Dranzer's a whore, I mean she's playin strip pok -mouth is covered by Tange- _

**_(If you say that word a random nuclear explosion happens!)_**

_(STRIP POKER! SEE NOTHING HAP-) _

We are unable to continue at this time due to extreme exploisve-ness.

Ness.

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**I'm so damn sorry for not updating sooner. REALLY SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!**

**I have plushies! -Hands them out-**


End file.
